The Trusty Lonely Planet Guidebook has a walking tour of Chiang Mai's Old Temples, but I found it lacking. So to anybody on the LP staff that may be reading this, I humbly submit to you my own Walking Tour of Chiang Mai.
Get up at 7 AM. Stop whining. You'll have to trust me. Pack a huge bottle of water and a map. Skip the bacon and eggs from your hotel breakfast buffet. Your meal is waiting for you outside.
Start at Pratu Chang Pheuak, the North Gate. Along the way, stroll through one of many morning markets. Absorb the sounds; The barbeque skewers sizzling, the old ladies yelling, the tuk-tuks honking at you to get out of the middle of the road. Buy a few pork skewers with rice. Maybe some beef balls, or two. Find a shady spot under a tree by the moat. Take a picture of the North Gate. Take a moment and sit by the moat as you eat breakfast.
Cross the gate, mind the traffic, and head south. Follow the signs to the statue of the Three Kings. Along the way, take note of the Wats, or temples. Go inside one, and ask one of the monks, "Wat's the name of this one?" The monk will laugh awkwardly and not answer you. Persist. When he gets annoyed, ask him "Wat's the matter, homie?" Run away, and quickly. Those monks are fast.
Stand at the base of the Three Kings. Count the number of kings. If the number is not three, check the map. You're in the wrong city.
Head east toward Pratu Suan Doak, the West Gate. Take a picture. Make sure you're clear of traffic. Curse the city planners for not making Chiang Mai pedestrian-friendly. Don't take too long, though, you'll make a scene. Once you've collected yourself, head south along the moat. Note the partial castle wall to your left as you walk. How cool is that? Have you seen a city where a wall surrounds the entire central area? Take a moment and ponder this as you come to where the west and south walls converge.
Hang a left. On your left is Bunk Hat Park. Enter the park for a few minutes' rest. Note the peaceful scene, as locals relax, and families enjoy the day. Find a spot by the pond and gaze at the school of fish running rampant. You'll love the park so much, you'll be tempted to stay here for an hour. Fight it. We're not done!
Exit the park and make your way to Pratu Chiang Mai, the South Gate. You'll pass more street food vendors. You'll see more pork-on-a-stick, balls of questionable meats, and pre-made curries. You'll pass a cart of crickets. Note the bemused expression on the cricket lady's face as she can't believe you'd actually eat any. Now note her horror as your pop five in your mouth without flinching. Spit 'em all out when she's not looking.
Find the gate and take a picture. Don't worry if you can't get close up to it, it's not your fault the tuk-tuks hate you. Scamper back across the gate and head north to the center of the old city. Stop for a iced coffee sold by the road. Marvel at how such a wonderful drink can come out of a baggie.
Make a right on Ratchadamnoen Road. Take it to the final gate, Pratu Tha Phae. You'll come across a boisterous market, with live music, more street food, funny souvenirs and the like. Take a picture of the gate, just so you can show your friends you've been to all four. Head east down Tha Phae road. Ask where the Night Bazaar is. What, you'd think I'd actually tell you? Where's the fun in that? You might need to know some Thai at this point, so make sure you memorize some phrases. If you don't know, don't panic. Use gestures. Thais are smart, they'll understand you.
Keep walking. Walk some more. Do you see the Night Bazaar? Here's a clue. It's near the Pornping Hotel. You can't miss it.
Once you've made it to the Night Bazaar, head right for Let's Relax. Order the 3-hour package with the foot, arm and Thai Herbal massage. Oh, calm down, it's only 30 bucks.
As the masseuse bends your body in ways you didn't think possible, laughing at you while you screech in agonizing pain, rejoice! You've walked Chiang Mai and are being rewarded handsomely.
Just mind that herbal compress. That crap burns.
For more pictures of Central Chiang Mai, go to my flickr page here.
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