Extreme Makeover: Bangkok Edition

"We're meeting my friend at State Tower tonight. You need new clothes." Pinky tells me. I open my mouth to disagree, but a look at my Mountainwear Wicked Tee, khaki shorts and sport sandals, and I decline to speak up.

We look at jeans outside MDK, one of Bangkok's megamalls. Pinky picks out a pair of button-fly designer jeans. I throw a fit. The jeans fit snugly. I hate snugly. After trying on three more pairs, I find a button-fly that works. "You have money?" Pinky asks. I have a feeling this isn't the last time I hear this question.

We hit Siam Paragon, one of the trendier malls in the city, for dress shirts and shoes. Pinky hands me 5 shirts from Zara. All linen, all way too small. Turns out a large size in Thailand is not the same as it is in the States. Pinky finds me an XXL shirt, and it's a perfect fit.

Pinky shows me a pair of Timberlands that turn out to be ridiculously comfortable. "How much is all this gonna cost me?" I blurt out. "Don't worry about it. Think of it as an investment." I get the feeling that she's had experience in helping clueless guys out with their dress sense.

"All my guy friends, they have no clue." She had told me over lunch. "They're too nice. Here in Bangkok, all the guys say I love you after meeting you."

"Isn't that a little extreme?"

"No! It's true. And the women here...they're crazy." Uh-oh. I'm not liking where this is going. "They worship farangs."

Farangs is the term used to describe a white man in Thailand, but I start to think there's more to that term that Pinky isn't telling me. "They're so disgusting!"

"What, the women or the Farangs?"

"Hello?! The Farangs." Pinky's not one for sarcasm.

We walk through Siam Paragon, and on cue, they materialize. Farangs, some skinny, some obese, all old and European, walking alongside petite Thai women. The Farangs are dressed in tank tops and flip-flops. I suggest to Pinky that maybe I should try dressing like them if I want to get a date. She shoots me the look of death.



After a return to Pinky's apartment and two hours of figuring out how to put on button-fly jeans, we meet up with her friend Tuang at The Dome at State Tower. It's a rooftop bar by the Chao Phraya river, and it has the best view of the Bangkok skyline. The scene is sophisticated. Live jazz plays from the dome as men and women, dressed to the nines, hold actual conversations. The three of us find a vacated couch on the balcony. We talk about life in Bangkok, what to do in Chiang Mai and Phuket, what it's like living in the States. Across from us, two tall Farangs chat it up with their dates. As the music plays on, they burst into laughter, and I wonder if they can understand each other.



I hadn't planned on spending an evening at The Dome. I only thought of seeing the sights, walking the streets, eating the local cuisine. I didn't expect a makeover. A look from the rooftop of State Tower, half a world away from everything I know, proved me wrong. There is more to Bangkok than I thought. I'm a better person for it.

But I still haven't figured out those button-fly jeans.

More pics from State Tower and Bangkok can be found here.