*On an infinitely more pleasant flight to Athens*
I don't write about airlines much. I have nothing to say about them. Some people have horror stories about their flights. I count it all as part of the territory. Or I have a high threshold for annoyance.
This is how I felt before boarding the worst flight of my life.
It was only two hours long, from PDX to LAX, on an airline that's named after a state and rhymes with "Dalaska". Karen and I sat toward the back of the cabin. Taking up the five rows in front of us were members of a girls soccer team. I sat down, like most passengers, not thinking much of anything. I just wanted to go home. Other passengers were on their mobile phones. Some were listening to their iPods. A flash bulb went off. Then another. And another. The girls, out of boredom or sheer excitement, decided that now was an excellent opportunity for photos.
As the plane took off, every girl raised their arms and shrieked to the heavens. After all, riding an airplane is like Space Mountain. More flash bulbs went off. More cackling from the girls. A Goldfish cracker from two rows up flew through the air and landed on my shoulder. Karen turned to me and said, "Where the hell are the chaperones?" I shrugged my shoulders, contemplated eating the cracker, then brushed it aside.
A candy bar fell at Karen's feet with a thud. And then it was on.
"You shouldn't throw things on the plane. It's DANGEROUS." K was ready to throw down. I wouldn't have put it past her to jump out of her seat, grab each girl by the collars of their soccer shirts and tell them how to freaking behave on an airplane. I touched Karen on the shoulder in an attempt to placate her, she flashed me a look that made me want to apologize for my bad behavior.
A lady woman with the girls stood up and walked to back of the cabin. She might have been a chaperone, or a big fan of the girls soccer team. We told her that the girls have a problem holding on to their food. She turned to them and said, "You should stop, you're making the other passengers mad." Whatever works, I guess. Good job, chaperone.
With one hour to go on the flight, the girls stopped chucking their crackers, but that didn't stop the girls from taking more pictures (with flash), yucking it up, throwing their hands in the air began its descent. My face grew whiter with each passing minute. Karen's face grew redder. We bolted out of the gate to our car, trying to drop the memories of this flight like the girls dropped their candy bars.
Karen wrote a formal complaint to Dalaska airlines. She received a $50 credit for her next flight, but really, do they think we'll fly them again?
A question: Where were the flight attendants? Shouldn't they have stepped in when the flash bulbs started popping, one after the other? At least a polite admonishment that there were other passengers on that flight that maaaaaybe wanted some peace and quiet.
More questions: Did the other passengers notice the shenanigans that Karen and I noticed? Did they have a HIGHER tolerance for annoyance than I did? Did they just not care?
It was only two hours long, but that flight from PDX to LAX was the worst flight of my life. It wasn't solely because the girls soccer team acted like self-centered brats. The lack of control of the chaperones, the apathy of the flight attendants, and the lack of concern from the other passengers all contributed.
Have you, Faithful Traveler, been on an equally horrific flight? Please share. I feel your pain.
3 comments:
I remember an annoying flight on an airline that rhymes with Mouthvest. I was flying from LAX to SAT after a transpacific flight from ICN. About halfway through the flight, the flight attendants thought it would be fun to get the whole plane to sing songs (Fly Fly Fly the Plane to the tune of Row Row Row your Boat) and play games (with extra peanuts as prizes). Given my exhaustion from my recent transpacific flight, I was clearly not in the mood. For the record, I still fly Mouthvest.
--Tim
nothing as bad as your experience, but once i flew from OAK to ONT. on the previous flight, a bird got caught in the propeller, so the whole plane reeked. there were only about 11 people on my flight and we each got the full can of soda, not just the little plastic cup full of ice and the few sips of beverage. so, i was happy.
amy
I hae never been on a flight with out-of-control young people such as yours, but I have been on some weather-related scary flights. The scariest was on a very windy rainy evening flight landing at NY's Kennedy Airport. The aircraft might have been a DC-10 or L1011, the turbulence was extremely noticable and the approach was going to be from the south over the water and Belt Parkway before touchdown. I mention this approach because it was the same approach of an airline crash I might have intercepted on the Belt Parkway on a windy rainy evening some ten years earlier. I remember hearing the loud crash behind me, then listening to the news about it on the radio and watching the live coverage on television as soon as I got home. The image of the plane's nose buried into the sandy shoreline of the flight path over Jamaica Bay was the same path I was on that rainy night was clearly on my mind. My flight was so close to the water I was able to see the ripples. I could hear the engine speed and see the flaps constantly being adjusted in order to maintain control. It was by far the scariest flight I was ever on.
~John
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